Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Angry Chick

The other night, while stuck in a momentary “I hate boys” wallow, I turned to the same person I’ve turned to since middle school: Grammy-award winning singer/songwriter/angry chick Fiona Apple.

As an 18-year-old moping around my dorm because a boy didn't like me enough and as a 25-year-old moping around my (dorm-sized) New York apartment because a boy didn’t like me enough, Fiona’s raspy croons always hit the spot.

Lucky for me and my current sitch, her entire second album “When the Pawn Hits” seems to be about a dude who played her. She spends about 30% of the album frustrated and angry with herself and the other 70% telling him off.

Fiona had one. I have one. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all had one- a guy or girl you simply can’t say no to, a person who somehow deflates your brain of all sensible decision-making abilities, your romantic kryptonite.

Newish to the dating world (as I had the same boyfriend from age 19 to 24) this total acquiescence of the upper hand has been tough to adjust to. Sure, I’ve endured plenty of versions of heartache and rejection in the past, but this is all just silly.

Even when the correct thing to do (ignore his call, go home, drop him like it’s hot) is sounding off in my brain like an alarm, I don’t hesitate to do the opposite.

I tried erasing his number. I tried pulling the just friends card. I tried dating his opposite.

The man is a boomerang. I can’t go a month without adding a new scene to our drama. It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. It’s always entertaining. And I guess in many ways it’s a rite of passage.

Fiona said it best:

“And when the day is done,
and I look back and the fact is I had fun,
fumbling around
all the advice I shunned,
and I ran where they told me not to run,
but I sure had fun."


  1. When are you gonna add me to your blog list missy? And if you're looking for good bands to name drop, I'd say my blog would suit you the best.

  2. You are SO right. That is THE perfect song for this. :)

  3. Nanita! I love the pic of the angry chick! The song is perfect. I want to hear more about the guy.

  4. Great picture. That's all I can really say this time, huh?